First kisses are shown as glorious things in books, TV, and movies? The characters usually know the correct time to kiss their date. The hero leans in, their date leans also, than their lips meet. And the setting is always picturesque, it could be in a rustic garden, with a light snowfall and amazing piano chords in the background.

But in reality, it is much more awkward and inorganic. There is absolutely no way to know certainly if a person wants to be kissed, so it’s always best to ask.

With that being said, asking may be scary and uncomfortable, even under the best situations! There is no particular formula, but there are some ways to make the process smooth, they are:

1.  Perfect Timing.

You should ask for a kiss when she is very relaxed. That classic opportunity should be at the end of a date, whether the first date or a later one. You have already gotten to know each other, you have walked her home, suddenly, there’s a long silence. She wouldn’t be surprised if you ask at this moment. In fact, she could be expecting it!

Do not be a novice. There really no need for fine speeches. Just say something simple and sweet, like I had a great night with you. Can I kiss you goodbye? You may use your personal phrasing, but avoid the over-formal ‘may I have a kiss?’

If you are not walking her home because she’s about to catch a cab. It is still a good idea to wait until you are outside the restaurant or bar. Lead her to where it is quieter, take her hand and only ask when you are certain there are no teenagers staring at the two of you.

2. Test The Waters First

If you want to go for the kiss mid-date because you feel that date is going fine and she’s onto you. Ok, great. But it is still best to test the waters. Instead of a direct question. , You may say something like this” I keep thinking about kissing you” This approach is smooth, sexy and it also puts the least amount of pressure on the lady. The main thing to remember is that women do not communicate directly like men. That indirect statement allows her to respond as she prefers. If she laughs it off or changes the topic, you probably shouldn’t kiss her. If she shows interest, or replies with “Oh, really? Well maybe you should”, then that’s your sign.

3. Don’t Ask As you are leaping

You may feel the urge to get the question over with as quickly as possible, but you have to relax. There is nothing more terrible than that moment when you are both alone and you thrust awkwardly at your date while asking. Besides, is it really a question if there isn’t enough time to answer?

Ambushes are not romantic at all. Just remember that the longer the wait before the kiss, the longer the sexual tension mounts. This means you should relax in your chair till you receive the green light from her.

You should say something like: I have been wanting to kiss you. Can I?  Then wait for he’d to digest it and respond to it before making your move. The kiss will eventually worth all wait.

4. Take A “No” In Stride

Once you have asked for the kiss and she says “No” or she shakes her head, or gently divert the conversation. It will be painful and embarrassing to decline when a person asks you for a kiss. If you get a “No” or signs that she’s not into it, drop it immediately. Do not act surprised by saying “Really? But we had such a good date”, or by asking her why ” is it because of where we went”, or trying to change her mind.

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